It never fails, when you meet someone you like, those who have put you on the backburner or people who didn’t value you, start to slowly slither out of the grass like snakes looking for water. This has never been more evident than recently.
So, you know all about Off the Record. We had two really awesome weekends together and then it ended. He was in a rush to start a life that was not in my plans. Things just didn’t work out. No harm. No foul. Didn’t know him long enough to get attached enough to care. Out of sight. Out of mind. All that jazz. Enough cliches.
And there are just too many unboyfriend blogs to steer you back to, but that story goes a little like: girl meets guy. guy is not dateable. girl is happy about that because girl doesn’t want to date. girl and guy only sleep together. girl can time her watch by it. girl gets bored. girl disappears. guy calls. girl answers. cycle starts all over for a bit. girl gets bored. girl disappears. cycle repeats until girl finally is really over it and stops going over altogether.
So there you have it.
Enter Flea Market Guy. I’ve been beating you over the head with all the lovey-dovey, ooey gooey, mushy in my heart stuff over the last week-ish. I’m happy. I’m overjoyed even to have met him.
And I think they can smell it.
When I was perfectly alone- with no dates- no phone calls- no sweet text messages- those chuckleheads were nowhere to be found. Mr. Off the Record couldn’t give two shits unless he was drinking. I don’t know why people always think about me when they are drinking. And unboyfriend. I’ve seen him once in the last 5 months. I was over it. Over it all. And now that I’m perfectly content, my phone is like Grand Central Station.
But that’s not the interesting part.
The interesting part is that normally, I would still entertain the phone calls. Or at the very least, I would answer them. Or I would reply to a text and not let on that anything has changed. But now? I got nothing. I don’t want to answer a call. I don’t want to reply to an email. I don’t want to reply to a text. But when I did reply to a text, do you know what it said? “So, I’m seeing someone. Not sure how serious it is right now, but I don’t want to screw it up before it has a chance to be amazing. And he’s amazing. So, I have to pass.”
And it’s not even that I’m so head over heels enamored with him (ok, maybe I am), but it’s mostly because he literally lights up my life. You can read yesterday’s blog to see all the reasons why. I don’t even want to be bothered with anyone if it’s not him.
And just so you don’t think that I have it all together, I feel like I should be completely honest with you and share the demented side of me. As if I haven’t done that enough already.
Short story:
FMG stopped by today on his lunch break. He works very close to my house (isn’t fate grand?). So he came and hung out for an hour. And when he left, all I could think was “this guy is too good to be true. He’s just so amazing. What in the world does he see in me?” and then another crazy thing happened. My logical brain was ready with the list o’ amazing things about me that I like to keep handy to remind myself that I deserve someone amazing who will treat me amazing because I’ve spent too much time being amazing to people who didn’t deserve it. And I took a deep breath. And I just accepted that it’s finally time.
Maybe it’s weird. And I know I overthink everything. But don’t we all? So I’m going to just breathe and enjoy every moment. Because enjoying moments is what I’m really good at.
RouletteWeekend 